The Truth

We had someone from Jabatan Pembangunan Wanita came over to our office and gave a talk on Anti Trafficking in Persons Act 2007 today. She apparently was on the drafting committee and was previously with Suhakam. Very cool lady.

But that was not the point. Point is, I had too much fun engaging in discussions with her during the talk. So much so that my senior colleague pointed out that he was so impressed with everything I said, like I know this topic so well. Well, we were discussing many things like double jeopardy, how do we go about making charges of a father who have raped his daughter for the past 8 years under both Penal Code and this Act, transborder trafficking, trafficking in Labuan, why the law is still ineffective, why people are still doing this despite of having such a solid law around. Yes, there were so much issues raised. And I was so involved in each and every question asked.

My colleague then pointed out that maybe I should go into this area, since I'm well versed and seems to be very passionate about the subject.

The thing is, I love criminology. And human trafficking has a special place in my heart because I read up a lot on this. I even wrote a paper entitled "Legalisation of Prostitution". I was 20, and it was for my advanced English paper. Of course my lecturer back then did not share the same view as I concluded in that paper but my opinion had its basis. There is no right or wrong way of doing it. Whatever you do, you just want to make sure that the welfare of the workers are taken care off, and the exploiters got what they deserve.

Yes, that talk got me thinking deep and hard today. My colleague continued on by saying that being here, right now, is a good stepping stone for me but maybe one day I should consider doing what I like best.

I thought that I could like banking and financial laws just like how I like criminal laws and its procedure code. I thought I could digest banking and financial laws as well as I did for Penal Code and CPC. I came nothing close to that. Not even after 3 years of having the same phone extension number. I'm afraid that my career might really fall stagnant soon.

Sh*it.

I'm not getting the job satisfaction I need.

But the money had me bounded all over.

And I actually love being here in Labuan.

Shi*t.

Please don't tell me I have to quit this one and move back to KL. Aku tak rela.

I'm screwed.

Of Muay Thai, Relapse, New Ride and Saigon. Junk Materials.

Ok so apparently my last entry was posted about one month ago.

I've been busy. Aren't we all?

In between my stagnant career (stagnant, but rather blissfully complacent), Ean and piano lessons, I managed to squeeze a new activity into my daily planner - Muay Thai. Here's our studio. Our class is a small female-only beginner class that have just started few weeks ago, so far it's been really fun and intense. Good news is they are still having this free trial class up until December so any ladies out there wanna give it a shot, do drop by the studio and join in the fun. The instructor, Alvin, is a very cool, nice dude. I mean, VERY cool. His selection of accompanying songs are awesome. Muay Thai with pop-forward playlist is really like dancing in the club, but with a purpose.

I've had a relapse for smoking after so long, when I went camping in Kg Karangan Beaufort. Blame the weather for the crave. I'm back on full throttle, not a very good idea, but very liberating. Try not to roll your eyes when you see me enjoying my puffs, or even worse get into preachy mode, because I care for no shit now except to live in the present as I wish.

I've been toying around with the idea of purchasing a new ride in exchange of my old Iswara for quite awhile. However, I conceded today that it is impossible for me to sacrifice my current lifestyle (read: RM300 monthly facial treatments @ Dermalogica) just to afford a dashing mother trucker. I hope Waheed will forgive me. Looks like my granny Iswara will stick around for awhile. Lucky bi*tch.

I will write a specific entry for Ho Chi Minh City soon. I hope. But in case it'll never get around, just so you know, I had a blast while I was there.

It's time for bed. Later!

27 y.o.

To forgive, is one of the most humble thing a person could do. As to forgive a person is not as easy as it may seem. To forgive with all your heart that is.

To seek forgiveness is even harder, as you have to let go of the biggest sense a person could have, pride and ego.

I am not a better person than I am before, as I'm still struggling with this concept, both to forgive and seek forgiveness.

Happy belated birthday Ira, wish you will grow up and learn someday.

Ean's Favourite Game

Did a little improvisation on a rather useless expensive toy and voila! Now he wants to play this game at least twice daily.

A Weekend Out with the Kids

This is a report card for Fadhlin.

Last weekend, the ibu-ibu tunggals spent some quality times with their kids in pantai Pancur Hitam in Labuan. It was the kids' first time to the beach.

The weather was fine but it was really windy. I wouldn't exaggerate and say that the kids enjoyed the outing. No. These were their complaints throughout the outing -

"Mummy, are you going to drown me into that huge salty lake?"

"Mummy, the wind is too much.. my hair is falling off!!"

"Mummy, the wind is too much.. I'm cold and my eyes are dry!"

"Mummy, the sound of the breeze is scary. Are they going to eat me??"

Ok I think you've got the idea. Now come the picta (misspelling intended, so it'll rhymes. idea, picta, geddit??).

The ibu-ibu tunggal. Azizah with Wak Joni (nama sebenar Johnny Depp), eNiE with e-D (formerly unnamed mini-stokin) and myself with Ean.

Check out where's e-D at. Us with Auntie Jaja, makcik to the kids.

Classic ones.

That lone male homo sapiens is Ihsan. Our photog for the day. And in red is Merah, an MU freak (boo!)

Well fed. e-D and Ean. Together, they'll pick a fight with Wak Joni. When there is no other kids around, they'll pick a fight with each other.

And finally, us. Ean and I.

Yasmin Ahmad

Few weeks ago, my favourite local film director left us. I would always remember her, especially for she somehow magically entered into my life and left her footprints in this entry.

Rewind early April 2009, I was in KL and managed to catch a screening of Talentime. I wrote something in my planner as my thoughts rushes through but I never managed to complete it and it has never get produced into this blog.

Until now.

So here's what I wrote not long after I left the cinema. This is for you, Kak Yasmin. Rest in peace.

"Yasmin Ahmad in her latest movie "Talentime" has proven my suspicion that a guy is much more lovable and attractive when he utters less and lesser words to us girls. I am officially in love with Mahesh and would love to ride the motorbike with him sometimes *momentarily forgotten about Rob Patterson but that's another story*.

Kak Yasmin,

Do you think you can organise some sort of contest with a grand prize being "A Ride to School with Mahesh"? Please?

When the movie ended, I was like, what?!! That's it? That's it?? But I want more!!!

It took me about 53 seconds to reflect on the ending and realised that is how the story should end. Oh yeah, that's THE ending alright.

Bittersweet. Real.

I left the cinema with fuzzy feelings of hope and longing. *sigh*"

Kak Yasmin, what you did for us inspire me so much. Thank you. I pray God will have mercy on you and choose you to be amongst His faithful servants. Amin.

Meet Ean.

Ladies and Gents,

It's my pleasure for me to introduce you the new addition in my life.

My lovechild.

Ean.

Thanks to Fadhlin, my good friend a.k.a his breeder/previous owner, who have let Ean (then known as Seman) parted ways from her, his big bungalow in Sg Buloh, far from his big family (there are 19 of them altogether in one cat bungalow) to come to L*abuan and live with me.

Along with Ean, I have taken away one of the Mini Stokins, who have now found new home with my dear friend, Erni. She is now known as e-D.

In case you're wondering, yes, Fadhlin cried after we left. Even after I have reminded her so many times not to.

It has only been two days since Ean and e-D set their little paws in Labuan, and we are still adjusting with each other.

Ean is my first pet ever. I hope we'll fit well into each other's lives.

Of course, nobody said it's going to be easy.

I am Alone but never Lonely

Last Thursday, while celebrating our Missus Daise's final night in town, her Mr Big came up to me and asked -
"How come I've never seen you with any guys?"
So I gave him the standard reply i.e. No boyfriend.

That led to a series of interrogation that finally made him asking me this question -
"Attitude aside (I told him I don't have a boyfriend because I have attitude problem), what kind of guy are you looking for?"

"Err.. err... Actually, I'm very comfortable being on my own right now."

The truth is, I don't even have a clue - Besides having his own ladang of course.

Today, my Thai masseur Tutu asked me the same question -
"How come you don't have a boyfriend?"

She was quite persistent in asking me that question. It seems to me that it is very difficult for strangers or acquaintances to believe that a girl as cute as me is single.

I guess no answer will make her happy until I said to her -
"You know what, the truth is, I find it very difficult to trust guys nowadays. There is always something wrong with them. They are either cheaters or liars. It's very difficult to meet the genuine ones. And so I'd rather be on my own than being in a serious relationship with a guy."

She agreed. We've found our connection.

And I guess I should have said the same to Mr Big too.

Please stop hooking me up with guys with the hope of white picket fences and an MPV. It's no longer as easy as it was 5 years ago sweetie. I am bad at making polite conversation or pretending that I have slight interest or curiosity on the subject-matter. I am also bad at being friendly, coz I really am not. Also, I am bad at maintaining a relationship, I don't have communication skills and I really don't know how to jaga hati orang. Bak kata my ex, Alfri, I'm a control-freak. Betul la tu kot.

And no I'm not gonna change just because he said I'm a control freak. So what if I am pun kan?

Hook me up for fun* though, anytime.

*fun - means clean, halal, innocent kind of fun, like playing UNO or whatever.

Yes, you are...

You know you are slowly converting yourself into becoming a Sabahan when..

1. You speak, think and dream in Sabahan dialects

2. You are offended when non-Sabahan thinks Cameron Highlands is better than Kundasang (How can.. CH does not have Gunung Kinabalu ok!)

C.H. can never beat this Kundasang view, can she?

3. Your criteria of eligible bachelor have changed from having a thriving yuppie-friendly career to having his own ladang, the bigger the farm, the better.

Desa Cattle Farm, Kundasang from here

4. You are slowly accepting the fact that L*abuan is always a part of Sabah, and always forgetting that it is actually a Federal Territory

5. You are no longer easily impressed with KL

6. You want to be here ...

Taman Kerengas Long Pasia

Charming kids from SK Long Pasia

The river stream near Long Mio

more than being here...

7. Your dream wheels have changed from this ...

to this...

(sebab yang ni 4WD, senang nak bawak offroad)

8. You like Bambangan better than Belacan, and think Sabahan dishes are palatable.

Pickled Bambangan makan sama nasi mimang syiok habis!

9. Your hometown is Shah Alam and yet your first property is not even located in Peninsular Malaysia.

10. You have not been home for months and felt slightly homesick but instead of buying the flight ticket for yourself, you bought two return MAS flight tickets for your sisters just so that they can bring the durians to you.

Otak Aktif

I am so excited I can't stop designing and drawing since earlier this afternoon.

And it's 3.03AM now FOR GOD'S SAKE IRA!!

I just hope that I will have enough moolah to get the designs transformed into reality soon.

Pray for me ok people!